I simply replied, “my date” and continued to walk toward the room. I know that was probably a little cold, but I didn’t really feel like giving him a bunch of details when he would meet her soon enough.When I got back to the room, I opened the door and peeked in, just to see if Alyssa was out of the bedroom or if I could take the roses in. She was nowhere to be seen, so I carried the roses in and set them on the table across from the fireplace.At this point it was about 40 minutes until we were supposed to be down in the ballroom for events to start so I decided I would go ahead and put on my tuxedo. I had decided to go ahead and buy one rather than renting. It was a very classic cut tux and I had gone with the classic black tie and cummerbund. After putting on everything but the jacket, I decided I would wait to put on the jacket, but I wanted to make sure I had it on before Alyssa saw me. I walked over the bedroom door and knocked again. She said, “Just a few more minutes,. It was beautiful, and passionate and over far too quickly.We stopped, and went to bow, and the place exploded with applause.But I wasnt thinking about that. I went to the dressing room, and sat ona bench, trying to collect my thoughts.Something had happened to me out there. At some point I stopped playingthe role of a girl.And found one inside of me.And I didn't want to give her up, to go back to being a boy.So I did the hardest thing I could do, and told Kate, our coach, andfinally, my folks.And pretty soon I'd retired from skating to pursue a transition.I knew early on that there would be no way for me to skate competitively.My home country of Canada might be pretty progressive, but the biggestpower in skating is Russia, and to say they arent on board when it comesto LGBT people is putting it mildly.I missed it, but I missed Kate more. Even though she supported me, andcalled me often, she still had dreams of making it to the podium as askater, which meant she had to spend a lot of.
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